My Dysfunctions

 

I've started writing in a journal. In order to rope together my thoughts.

Anyway I went to a local entertainment store and bought a journal!

  <-- I picked this one!

Each day it has a quote off to the side.

 <-- Today's quote

I thought it was hilarious. I had to get it. I think humor is the best way to handle some things.

Today is FRIDAY! Yay! But Friday always feels like a celebration. Of what? Well I don't know. That I made it through the week? That I am being temporarily released from the weekly shackles... the endless same ole same ole? I'm not sure why it always feels like a celebration but it does and that can lead to trouble. I feel like can eat whatever I want as if the calories don't count. Today is different... so far. So far I haven't touched one bite of food that wasn't planned. Go me!

I am feeling overwhelmed by tomorrows to do list.

Gym, Tan, Laundry (GTL,No joke) and STUDY. I don't think the cast of Jersey Shore ever studied. Seriously I have so much studying to do. But it's Friday and I dont wanna study (whining voice as if I were a 2 yr old) and I just cant seem to focus.

ANYWAY!!

I'm going to see Ted tonight!

Yay!!!!!!!!

I can't wait I can't wait I can't wait

Cheers to Friday!!! <-- Insert photo of favorite happy hour drank. 

Summer Burnout

Summer school is KILLING me. I'm drowning in science labs and econ quizzes. The stress has made me want to turn to food. And trust me - I've given in. BUT it's getting better. I keep telling myself "No you need to learn to just sit with yourself and be okay with this feeling" -- That really does help.

Instead of escaping just be.

It has been 100+ degrees lately! Yuck!! But snow cones help. Snow cones always help.



This is a picture of my Body Combat gloves. I meant to post it Monday after class but once again... summer school had me in a frenzy.

This class is so amazing! My tushy is still sore! I need to figure out a way to work more of these classes into my routine. Its full body and I burn a little over 500 calories in an hour. It's higher when they start changing it up or if they mix together the toughest tracks from various releases. I love it when that happens. I may have a hard time sitting or raising my arms for a few days but it's so worth it. Worth knowing I worked my butt off and making a difference. 

Cheers to hump day!

Guess the Ingredient

These are chocolate cupcakes! With chocolate frosting. But within these cupcakes lurkes a secret ingedient. No. No. No, people. It's not a green smokable plant. It's a vegetable. Yes, you read that right... a vegetable.

While you're thinking it over I'll tell you about my weekend!! :)

These are Clif Bars and Good'n Natural bars that I received from my friend! I was like a kid in a freaking candy store. Except she gifted them to me in a plastic bag so it was more like an adult with her head buried in a shopping bag. But OH MY GOSH I am so excited. There are so many flavors I haven't tried yet. And I have never even heard of the Good'n Natural bars. What I love about those is that they do have sugar but not nearly as much as most bars. YUMMMMMY I can't wait to get started working my way through them all.

This is the Turtle Habitat that my husband has been working on. He has worked his butt off and these hot as hell Texas temps haven't held him back. He wants to add in some bushes and plants to give plenty of shade and hiding spots for the turtles. 

This was my science experiment for biology. You mix iodine and water into a bowl and then you mix starch and water into a plastic bag. You put the bag into the iodine water and after a few minutes that starch water starts turning purple. If you leave it in for like 12 hours or more the bag turns super purple and the iodine water almost turns clear. Iodine molecues are small enough to penetrate the plastic bag but the starch molecules are too big so basically the iodine invades the plastic bag and attaches to the starch. Pretty cool if you ask me!! :) 

If you can't tell, that is big ball of cauliflower. And... the secret ingredient!! Not all of it just 200g .. which is about 2 cups. The rest of the cauiflower has been going to good use in cauliflower burritos. Which sounds weird but the texture is great for tacos or burritos... we'll call them wraps. Wonderful yummy spicy wraps!! ;p

Now time to get ready for bed so I can get up early for some BODY COMBAT!!!! 

Validation and Revolution

The magazines are right. The media is right! These tiny women we see on TV really are beautiful. And look at them… they are having the time of their lives. They must have the answer to happiness. So who cares if you can only eat 800 calories a day... look at how wonderful life would be. No fears. No problems. If we looked like they do we would be worry free and life would be perfect.

Right!? Who’s with me!?

Kidding.

Obviously.

A friend of mine asked me if I planned on running a local half marathon in September. That used to be my goal… to run a half and then one day a full. Then I would be a “real” runner. And I also thought that running didn’t “count” unless I ran some certified race course. However, while training for a half marathon I injured myself. I went to the doctor - they did x-rays and I found out I had stress fractures in both shins… tibia to be exact. Running at this point had already become very painful and basically I felt let down by running. I used to carry around this idea that running is such a basic form of transportation and that most of our ancestors ran and walked to get around so to me we as humans should all learn to run and be able to run… as if it were our duty as a human. And now running had turned its back on me. Yes I know- it’s my fault for over training but still, the let down is there. That was about a year ago.

Now that I’m working runs back into my workouts, I’ve found that my whole outlook has changed. The separation allowed me to distance myself from those self imposed expectations and perhaps allowed me to grow and mature. I no longer think that I HAVE to run a certified course to validate myself and why should I feel the need to validate myself in the first place. (don't get me wrong.. races are still awesome but just in other ways)

I think trying to prove something or seeking out some arbitrary idea of validation is what causes a lot of people to burn out, get injured, and/or flat out give up. Now I do realize that there is a difference in motivation and validation. But I also think it is a very fine line and it can be easily crossed, as so it goes with fine lines.

I also think that validation plays a role in our body image as well. Bear in mind that this is coming from a female point of view. I think there is so much pressure on us, as women, to look a certain way. It’s a tired argument, really, but still it affects us every single day. On the TV and in the mags – waif like figures of women- we’re told 36-24-36 (or whatever it is) is the ideal shape. We aren’t beautiful unless we look like this or wear that or use a certain brand. We try to validate ourselves as women by juggling a trillion things; we need to be good mothers, hard workers, good cooks, smart and well read, we need to have hobbies, and we need rock hard abs.

And this all starts, usually, at a very young age. I remember getting my hands on mom’s trashy gossip mags. Pictures of some celebrity’s thighs covered in cellulite, shunned for “letting herself go”.. turn the page – a different celebrity, waif like and praised for her slim figure... oh wait I think they called it “beach body”.

I think we would all be so much happier and so much more productive if we could give up these expectations. Set our own expectations. Make our own goals. Do, wear, and live the way we want. Let’s fight for a revolution. A push for the sake of our mental health. Let us strive for happy and healthy. Besides - happy and healthy are much sexier than pretentious and unnaturally thin.

But every day we should rise with confidence unmatched by any supermodel, walk to the mirror and say “Baby, you’re beautiful”.

Cheers to Friday!

Cheers to doing what we want!!

Cheers to being sexy, happy, and healthy!!!

Gym plan and my sancho

Today’s gym plan: Treadmill to work on my skillz.

                               Precor 100i to get a handle on this booty. It really works the lower portion of the body and it’s a better than that stupid elliptical. We hate each other.

Tomorrow is Friday Body Pump!!! Yay!! I cant wait I cant wait  I cant wait! Yay!

3 Things I want to do but I don’t have time for (until summer school is over):

            See Snow White and the Huntsman

            See Ted. I freaking l.o.v.e Seth MacFarlane.

            Go to Palo Duro Canyon and ride my bike

 <-- Smart, Funny, and Gorgeous.
Don't even get me started.




Oh one more thing I want to do. I want to spend all weekend just reading my book. That's it. Just reading my book. Yep. It's gonna be a good one.

Show & Tell Wednesday

I bet this post would get more hits if I titled it "Peep Show". 

First I have to tell you about this hot sauce. Why? Because I am saddened that know one let me in on it's amazingness sooner. It's amazing. Uhh Maze Ing! I've had since Monday and I think I've eaten half already. Okay okay maybe not half but just give me a couple of more days. 

Second: This book. Haven't started it. It has mixed reviews but the title and cover have me excited. Oh and the first sentence in the prologue "October 12 was a good day for a killing." Yep.. it's gonna be good. Not that I'm nut who loves twisted death books... I just like them to be exciting! I also like books that are set pretty far back in time. I don't know why but I just really tend to enjoy it. This is set in the mid 1600's. But I really enjoy ones set even farther back. Thats a whole new world. The Name of the Rose & Pillars of the Earth are two of my faves.

A look into my lunch box. I already ate my apple... so it's obviously not in the picture. And yes. That IS a Ninja Turtle lunchbox. Because the Ninja Turtles are awesome. 

Pet Peeve: People hating on healthy eaters. It doesn't happen often but I hear it every once in a while. People (adults) picking on other people for trying to eat lighter. This drives me insane! One day in the lunch room I was eating oatmeal, and apple, and some almonds. A lady looked at me and said sarcastically "oh don't hurt yourself with all that food." It was a 300 hundred calorie meal which is sufficient for A. a heavy breakfast eater and B. for someone who snacks. What does she want me to eat... A burger and fries... a frozen microwave meal?! I don't know but now I'm careful about who I eat around.

This picture is from the Dictionary of Sarcasm ;p

These two fellas are my real life Ninja Turtles. Don't mess with them. The boy in Raphael and the girl is Donatella.

The Funnies

This is what my grandpa called the comic strips in the Sunday newspaper. Anytime I see The Funnies I always think of him.


Here is one a friend sent me.

Manic Monday

Summer school is kicking my butt!!!


When I get stressed out my back and shoulders get really tense. Ahh!! I hate it!!


I have an econ test tonight and a crap load of bs work in biology this week and the test for that class next week.


I was SO excited to hear about Voyager I.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/47862268/ns/technology_and_science-space/
Mind blowing!
And yes... I am a nerd.




This morning I went to Body Combat. I left drenched in sweat. It felt great!!
http://w3.lesmills.com/southeast/en/classes/bodycombat/about-bodycombat/


BODYCOMBAT™ is the empowering cardio workout where you are totally unleashed. This fiercely energetic program is inspired by martial arts and draws from a wide array of disciplines such as karate, boxing, taekwondo, tai chi and muay thai. Supported by driving music and powerful role model instructors, you strike, punch, kick and kata your way through calories to superior cardio fitness.



And now I will leave you with this - -

Mug cakes with dates

See this cake.
I can't make food this pretty.
Chocoalte Covered Katie makes food this pretty.
This cake is like - so amazing!

Here is her recipe:

For the batter:

• 3 tbsp spelt flour (or white)
• 1/4 tsp baking powder
• 1/16 tsp salt
• 1 stevia packet (or 1/32 tsp pure) or 1 tbsp sugar
• 1 tablespoon plus 2 tsp water
• 2 tsp oil or melted margarine
• 1/4 tsp pure vanilla extract

For the streusel: (If you like a lot of streusel, feel free to double all ingredients below.)

• 1/8 tsp cinnamon
• 1 and 1/4 tsp sucanat or brown sugar
• 1/4 to 1/2 tsp oil or melted margarine
• tiny, tiny pinch salt
• 2 pecan halves (or walnut halves)

(If using an oven, preheat to 330 F.) Combine batter dry ingredients and mix well. Add wet and mix until just mixed. In a tiny bowl, combine all streusel ingredients. Fill a greased muffin tin 1/2 way with the batter (or a ramekin or mug, if using the microwave). Sprinkle on two-thirds of the streusel, then spoon the remaining batter on top. Finally, sprinkle on the rest of the streusel. Cook 12-13 minutes in the oven, or around 1 minute in the microwave. (Microwave times may vary.)

For the entire recipe:

• Calories: 130
• Fat: 2 g
• Carbs: 25 g
• Protein: 4.5 g
• Fiber: 4 g
• ww points (new system): 3 points

WANT TO KNOW WHAT I DID DIFFERENT!!??

I added in 2 Tbs of chopped dates to the batter

Then I added 1 Tbs chopped cashews to the streusel.

I didn't have pecans or walnuts... but I had cashews. It was awesome.
I added in the dates because... I don't know.
I think I'm going through a date phase. I put them in my oatmeal, on my salad, in my mug cakes.. in everything!! They are just so good!


BUT TONIGHT I'M MAKING BROWNIES FOR MY
DADDY-O for Father's Day!

He loves him some chocolate... and since I'm getting crafty and making his father's day gift I'm going to make his brownies from the box. They'll still taste awesome.


I went to body pump this morning and I'm feeling so good!! I love days when I'm feeling strong- I hope that strength goes to my brain and all the studying and test taking I have to do this weekend goes over well.


   Cheers to a fabulous Friday!!!   



Oh and here are my weekend goals:

Saturday: I don't generally make it to the gym on Staurdays anymore because I coach the soccer game and then spend most of the afternoon at my dad's house doing laundry. But in between laundry loads I plan to take his dog Ebony on a walk. I would jog with her but she is teensy tiny - as in smaller than my cat. She is a mini Schnauzer BUT she is seriously a runt.

Sunday: I have a soccer game at 1:30 so that's like right in the middle of the day which sucks. But Hopefully I can get to the gym before the game. That way I can finish out my wonderful Sunday parked behind a text book. :(

  Cheers to meeting goals!   

In motion

Me. In motion.

Calling Calling Calling Me Home

Maybe I need to make better foods.

Lower calorie foods.

But they still have to taste good.

And maybe get a little more creative while I’m at it.

ß Breakfast Quinoa

I also need to learn lots of ways to use Cayenne pepper. I had to have some and the store didn’t have a little bottle, an average bottle… just a giant bottle. Of course I could’ve bought the more expensive brand and gotten a smaller bottle but why on Earth would I pay THAT MUCH more per ounce. So the solution... just buy the giant bottle.

I hear it really revs up the metabolism.

ß I wonder if she eats cayenne….

Tonight my friend and I are going to do hills on the treadmill.

I may run some but I have an injured tibia so running can be painful.

When I say I injured I mean stress fractures. Yes, plural. I was supposed to take off nearly two months from the gym to let it heal but I just have never been in a good enough place (physically or mentally) to be able to stop going.

The gym is a stress reliever. And sure there are days I dread going but that’s usually after I get tired of my playlist.

I downloaded 2 new songs last night!

I can’t wait for the gym today.

Those two new songs will make my old songs sound better.

ß Song #1 Lights: Ellie Goulding


ß Song #2 As Long As You Love Me: Justin Bieber




CAN'T WAIT TO WORK OUT!

Her Honesty

“Someone walking down the street overweight, is overweight for a reason. They eat too much. It’s really rather simple. (And yes, I’m talking about the majority of people - I know some people have thyroid issues, and take certain medications that influence their weight. But facts are facts. The majority of people are overweight (myself included) because they eat too, damn, much.)”

 

http://one-twenty-five.tumblr.com/

That was from a blog post I read this morning. I love this girl’s blog. We have a lot in common. Well except she lives a fabulous life. Well not movie star style but she travels the world and dresses really cute and has great hair. But she also has issues with weight loss and overeating.

Anyway her post changed my post.

I was going to tell you how good and healthy my dinner was last night. A sun dried tomato flavored wrap with Yves veggie crumbles, lettuce, corn, toffuti sour cream, avocado, and salsa. I even took a picture.

What I wasn’t going to tell you was that I ate TWO of them.

I go into the kitchen to make my 2nd wrap and my husband is there and this happens…

Me: Umm yea I think I will eat another one because it was really good and I-

Turner: Just eat it. Don’t try to make an excuse for why you’re eating it.

Ouch. Brutal.

But he’s right. Why am I making excuses? I know I didn’t need it I just wanted it.

I should’ve thrown in the towel.

Why is it SO hard to just be done and not go back for seconds? It’s such a simple concept.

I often don’t buy tortillas and bread because I know that they are too easy to eat. They make it easy to snack on. I’m a carb lover and I don’t mean carbs as in fruit and veggies, I mean bread, muffins, cookies… junk food.

I feel like I should be able to stop and not eat these things and not have any problem. I mean after all that’s what my husband does. When he’s full he just stops. He doesn’t try to finish his plate or go after dessert. Nope. When he’s done he’s done. Why can’t I just be done like that!?

I don’t have an answer.

I’m just venting.

That is all.



Eating for a Group

There has been a truck load of food at my work place lately.

What is it about eating in groups that makes our portions almost double than normal.

Or is it just me?

I don’t think so.

Consider this, if you’re eating with a group of people more than likely you will probably be talking to each other so you’re instantly distracted. Not only are you talking but you might be laughing or listening to an interesting story. So is this why we sometimes eat more… because we’re distracted?

Maybe there is a little part in all of us, I know there is in me, who wants that cookie or some extra chips or a little more of “whatever” and if you’re in a group there may be other people there who feel the same way so then you all subconsciously decide that its allowed because you know you aren’t the only one and for some reason you feel justified. Is that why?

Eating seems to be one the greatest American pastimes. I think we have been conditioned since birth to eat when we celebrate, when we are in mourning, when we win, when we lose, to comfort ourselves, and the list goes on and on. To add to this I think a lot of Americans not only have the attachment to eating the food but also to preparing it. Whether it’s learning how to make mom’s casserole or grandma’s cookies or Uncle Bob’s bbq ribs… some of us get attached to actually making certain foods.

So maybe this attachment to food is the reason why we tend to overeat when we’re in groups.

Who really knows!?

But now my clothes feel a little tighter. A reminder that I need to cut back! I’ve been going to the gym regularly and I added in another weight class because ‘I hear” that adding in weight lifting is what really makes a difference in the long run. I get plenty of cardio so maybe adding the extra weights will help. And I set an alarm on my calendar that reminds me to stand up and move. It goes off every 30 minutes. I don’t know if it will help trim my belly but it sure feels good. I have a desk job and sitting for hours gets old.

However, I do realize that it really is about my diet habits rather than my gym habits especially when it comes to long term goals and maintenance.

Necessary Monday

Oh Monday. Mondaymondaymonday. I kind of hate you. But you’re a necessary evil.

I had a cliff bar and some cashews for breakfast.

I didn’t get enough sleep last night.

I’m yawning.

I went 5:15am combat.

I hated waking up but so so so glad that I did.

Combat (the kickboxing/martial arts class) is one of my favorites!

Saturday was my friends b-day party.

I had fun.

Friends=Fun.

I went to an amusement park yesterday.

Rode lots of fun rides.

Had fun.

Got sick.

Gross.

Note to self: Don’t eat before you ride roller coasters.

Summer school.

2 classes.

Yuck!

Tons of work.

I expected it.

But still haven’t gotten into the groove just yet.

I like to cook and I love to bake.

My waistline is heartbroken.

My tastebuds are happy.

One day I will find a balance.

I follow Adam Bornstein on Twitter. @BornFitness

“#MondayMotivation: It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop. #BeRelentless”

That is fantastic advice!

Cheers to a necessary Monday.

Weeee!!! Friday

This was Thursday dinner! Quinoa, a tiny bit of angel hair, mixed veggies, almonds and chickpeas!! YUM!

 

This is a weird picture of Body Pump equipment from my workout this morning! If it wasn't 5am and I wasn't still half asleep I probably could have gotten a better picture. BUT we had a sub instructor and he kicked our butts!! It was rough but I needed it. 

This is my creepy biology book! I have a quiz and two online labs due this weekend. BUMMER!!!!!

But! My friend's birthday was yesterday and we are celebrating tomorrow night with a cookout! Woo hoo!! In the mean time I have to come up with some vegan food but soemthing that omnivores will like too. I found a recipe for Lemon Basil Potato Salad so I might try that. 

And this big beauty is my kitty, Smelly Cat. Yes, another reference to Friends. Hey, listen. I grew up on that show and I love me some reruns! It's like the best show ever!!

NOW EVERYONE GO HAVE A FREAKING AWESOME FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Head gear

My work gave me some new head gear. Now I look like a real pro!! .. OR maybe I meant a real NERD! ;p

I really am missing fasting. I may try doing dinner to dinner starting Sunday night going to Monday. I really didn’t think I would miss it this much but I totally do. I wish I could pin point why I miss it.

I read some really good advice about avoiding a binge after a fast. This guy said to make sure you don’t have any “ready to eat” food around you. Make sure what you eat you have to take the time to make. I think this is really good advice for me just in general. I tend to snack. BAD idea. But I love to cook so it should work out for me pretty well. 

Below is a recipe I made up just last night :)

This is my roasted kale hummus... IT ROCKS!!!

Hump day

Happy hump day!


Gotta love Urban Dictionary!!

2.	hump day	1047 up, 721 down
	Wednesday, or the hump of the week The absolute BEST day of the week, the day of maximum hope that maybe, you might make it out of this week alive. A particularly good hump day can last you the rest of the week, and by Doomday morning (Monday) you survive by anticipating hump day. Nothing goes wrong on hump day Most other days can be defined by hump day. Tuesday is the day before hump day. Thursday is one day after hump day. Except Friday is WOOOH!!! FREEDOM!!! Day, Saturday is Mostly Hungover day, and Sunday is PreDoom day. Hump day has nothing to do with sex. Unless one wants it to. I like to declare the existence of hump day just to see people's faces. Usually being conservative and all "Do you know what the best thing about Tuesdays are? Its the day before Hump Day!" "What's hump day?" "It's the hump of the week!!" (they all shake their heads in pity)

6.	hump day	353 up, 436 down
	A term used exclusively by douchebags in reference to Wednesday.   Some douchebag named Garrett: Happy hump day! Man: It's called Wednesday, you piece of garbage.           Fasting must be a love hate thing for me. Right now I'm wanting to commit to a fast but I know that I need to finish out my "break" and if broke my break then I may end up regretting it. I am, infact, already getting some benefits I hoped for. Mainly in how to put together my foods. i.e. a grain, a veggie, a protein, and a fat. Maybe not all in one meal but I am getting better at pairing them. I also find that planning in advance helps. Planning ahead is a tool I've used in the past, but then I get lazy, then I stop planning ahead. But using this tool if very helpful.   Have a great hump day! ;p

We were on a break!

Let’s play “Name that famous TV Quote”

     “We were on a break!”

 _________________________________________________________________________

Taking a break. A week long sabbatical.

Email that I sent to my friend who also fasts with me:

You know what. I have been doing some thinking today and I think I decided to take a week long break from fasting. Since switching to vegan I have had a hard time figuring out how to put different foods together. I think adding in fasting, another thing I’m still trying to figure out, is hindering my transition. I hate asking you to fast with me and then backing out but I really do need a break. Some time to clear my head. I will start back full throttle on Monday the 11^th. See… I set a date so its permanent now.

Again… I’m sorry.

She told me that there was no need to be sorry and that a break is good if I think it will help get me straight.

I am stubborn and I hate… absolutely hate giving up and/or backing out of things when I say I will do them. But the way I see it is this is going to

A. break the boredom I’ve been feeling from my fasting schedule

B. help me put my foods together in a more nutritious way

C. most importantly allow me to breath and clear my head

I think trying to make 2 lifestyle changes at once got to me. It became a little too overwhelming. Especially because they are both diet related.

Plus it’s only a week long so it gives me a break without completely undoing myself.

And hey… I’m human… sometimes we need time to think.

 

Oh and I read some interesting info on and intermittent fasting forum about breaking a fast with a 500 - 800 cal meal consisting of mainly protein. I am going to see if I can find any info to back this up or if I can find supporting ideas in other places other than just this particular forum. I think 800 for someone who needs extra calories but for someone like me, female with a desk job, I could stay safely around the 500 mark.

In other news…

I think Little Bamboo is getting taller!

Answer:
"We were on a break!"
If you said Ross and Rachel from Friends then you're as cool as I am!!