Thursday, August 30, 2012


After yesterday's whine fest
I decide that it was time for a revamp!
Rethink my plans.
Spring cleaning of my current habits.

I've decided to make some much needed changes.
I realized that I was most certainly eating too much.
Why else do I work out several times a week and still not budge much on size?
I eat too much.
So looking over my diet I found a few places where I can easily cut out unneeded calories.
10am Snack.
Why do I even need a 10am snack??
I'm NEVER actually hungry at 10 am
Geez Louise I don't eat breakfast at 7am! That's only 3 hours. And trust me.. I don't think oatmeal digests that fast.. not in my tummy anyway.

Another place to cut out
3pm Snack :p
I eat lunch at 12pm
Then when I get back to my desk around 1pm I eat grapes.
And I would rather give up the 3pm snack rather than my 1pm grapes.
I'm going through a grape phase.

And quite obviously an avocado phase. I kind of blame Subway.
But I have my reasons. Apparently healthy fats give you shiny hair and I WANT shiny hair. Like NOW!!

In order for the REVAMP to actually work... I am going to really have to commit to it.
And really want to stop all of that snacking.
Which sucks because I look forward to those snacks.
And Maybe that is a big part of my problem... I look forward to food.
And it shouldn't be like that.
Food is fuel for you body. Not a reward.
So!! Although it may be hard.
I'm actually looking forward to the revamp. Besides we all need a little change.
And hopefully this will help me learn when my body is actually hungry and needing food rather than just eating because "it's that time"
And speaking of REVAMP - I revamped my mustacado recipe. I added pico de gallo! Which kinda just makes it guacamole with mustard.
And although it may sound terrible.. You should really try it. Because after you do... it will be the only thing you ever want on your salad, or your burger, or your sammy... because yes... it is THAT awesome. :)

1/2 Avocado
1/4 cup pico de gallo
1 TBS mustard

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

High End of the Chart

Pinned Image

I agree that there are problems with the BMI chart.
They dont take into account your frame size and or your muscle build.. things like that

But I think it is basically a good tool to kind of get a good idea where you land.

I'm considered healthy. But it's at the higher end of the scale.
I can't stand it!
For about 2 years or so I have always average around 150-155... I feel like my body has chosen this weight to be "the one".
But I hate it!
My goal is 125-130.
But how to get there?
Is my eating really so terrible that I can't reach that goal unless I make major changes?
Is it my workouts?
Should I just stop!
Stop with this weight game.
Stop looking at that damn chart.
My entire life, well as far back as I can remember, I've been trying to lose weight.
I've never been close enough to a healthy weight to even consider "maintenance".

Somedays. Like today. I just feel lost.
If I decided to stop pushing for 125-130 would that make me a failure? Like I just gave up?
Or does it mean that I've just change and made the choice to not let the scale rule my life?
These questions will roll around in my head all day.
I hate "giving up" I hate the thought of being a failure.
But I know that relying on the scale isn't healthy... no matter what size I am.
Know what I need to do and having my brain follow suit isn't as easy as it sounds.

Cheers (and yes a drink would make me feel better ;p )

#confused <-- This is entirely too true.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Posting- Even when I have "bad" days...

Well I’ve decided that I only like to write if I’m doing really well.

And when I’m doing terrible I just sit here and grumble rather than posting.

I did horrible over the weekend!

Shame on me.

I really feel awful about it.

But I'm trying to remember that mistakes are part of making a lifestyle change.

I just need to hop back on the wagon and get going.

This morning I think I accomplished the jumping on of the wagon.

I was lying in bed and my alarm went off at 5am.

I knew that I wouldn’t be able to work out after I got off of work because I have to go to class.

But I was like ehh… I’ll be fine. It’s okay. I’m going back to sleep.

Then I told myself NO! you get your butt out of this bed and get to work. You are only going to feel worse for not working out and think about how good you’ll feel for accomplishing it. yes… I really did have all of these thoughts at 5am. All of the thinking had me wide awake so I went ahead and got my workout clothes on.

Starting the day off on a good note has me feeling motivated and strong. And READY!

I just need to be patient and accept that I will make mistakes but this is about permanent change not some quick fix diet.


I'm hoping for the best for the rest of the day.
No wait..
I'm going to MAKE it happen. ;p <-- As corny as it sounds, I really believe that most things in life can be accomplished with the right kind of attitude

Thursday, August 23, 2012

No! Thank You

I am feeling stressed. Super stressed.
Scale 1 being a bad hair day. 10 being mental breakdown.
I'm about a 5.7
The main issue being How in the world am I going to juggle school and work full time.
Not because of the work load but because WT doesn't offer most of my classes online or after 5:30. They don't accommodate people with daytime jobs.
It is so freaking frustrating.
And then I have a few other more personal issues to deal with and it all seems to be happening at one time.
The old cliche
When it rains it pours.
Yeah.. no sh!t.
I know there are people who have problems that make mine look like an eyelash in your eye but for me in my life they are stressful.
I get it.
And what do I tend to do when I stress out?
Use it as an excuse to eat.
I went to that freaking closet probably 3 times already.
Thankfully, though--
I was thinking rationally enough to realize that chocolate isn't going go to make me feel better.
In fact it's likely to make me feel worse.
Guilt is not something I want to add on top of my stack of stress.
So candy closet, No thank you.
Go bleep yourself.
(Is it bedtime yet?)

Wednesday, August 22, 2012


 <<< Yea I know. It looks disgusting.
But it is so so SO good.
1/2 Avocado
1 Tbs mustard
I used it as dressing for my salad last night.
It was so heavenly.
Guess what guys!!
I've been killin it!
I'm getting my groove back and it feels so good!
Last Wednesday I weighed in at 156.4 and this Wednesday was 152.6!! (should I start posting pics of the scale?)
Granted last was (TMI WARNING) my TOM and I may have been retaining water. But even so 156 was about 2 or 3 pounds lower that what I had been seeing.
Basically I think my plan for eating clean and moving more is really working.
And I feel amazing.
Mentally and physically.
The lowest I have ever weighed was 139.8 - And as much as would love love love to be there again - I want to do it in a healthy way.
I'll get real with you.
I got there by eating maybe 1000 calories (usually less) a day and working out about 9 times per week and if I couldn't pull 2-a-days then I would stay at the gym longer. It was a terrible thing to do to myself. I felt horrible and was always tired and ached all over. I was always in a bad mood too.
See. Not healthy.
But I am over that.
I know better than that.
Restricting is something I know.
I learned at a very young age that cutting out food will help you lose weight.
I was too young to know that it wasn't a safe thing to do.
But I knew it worked.
It can be difficult to unlearn things.
Besides it always sends me into a tail spin of bingeing and purging.
Another honest moment.
I guess I'm feeling honest.
But I am working on these issues and I'm feeling more and more comfortable.
I know that as long as I am eating clean and moving my body then I will be happy and healthy.
Cheers to Wednesday!
This week has been rough so I'm looking forward to Friday.. even more than usual. ;p

Monday, August 20, 2012

Conquering Cobbler

I did NOT eat any of this!
Me: 1
Cobbler: 0




This weekend was a win.

I kept my eating in check and worked out.

This is how I need to make most of my weekends.

I feel so great!

I always feel awful about how terrible I do.

I constantly snack or choose poor foods for meals.

This weekend consisted of fresh veggies and fruits. Almonds. Flaxseed. Subway! ß My fave.
veggie delight at subway<-- Veggie Delite! Maybe one day I'll show you my actual sammy.

My workouts consisted of hill workouts and the Precor machine.

I used my questions to ward off treats.

If indulged in anything it would be the rice cakes.

Weird. Right?

Indulging in rice cakes.

But yes. They were good. And I’m not sure if they’re a “clean food” but I needed something to satisfy my sweet tooth and I knew that would be better than a cupcake or a cookie etc.. And I could eat them and not feel guilty.

Seriously if eating well makes me so freaking happy then why can’t I do it with no problem all of the time!!??

I mean I feel so strong today.

Like I finally did it.

I finally conquered a weekend.

It has to do with that whole instant gratification thinking.

Sort of how they grocery store puts chapstick, matches, cutsie little things, candy ß eye roll, and junk like that at the register.

I must learn to control this impulse!

But I suppose I have taken the first step.

Conquering this last weekend sort of proves to me that I can really do it.

It just takes work.

And using my head.

And my body… to workout.

I shall bask in this victory and use it to fuel my will power for the next weekend.

Cheers, Monday!

Friday, August 17, 2012

From Sausage Legs to Lifestyle Change

Clean Eating

          I’ve read a little about it. But there doesn’t seem to be any clear definition.

If I were to explain it I would say that eating clean involves fresh produce. Fresh. Foods that come from the Earth and that aren’t likely birthed in a lab. In my readings it seems that sugar is the Satan of food. So I would say that clean eating would probably involve the abstention of refined sugar. This shouldn’t be tricky if sticking to aforementioned “rules” of clean eating.

The Olympics

          Yes my friends. I do seem to be obsessed and yes I do realize that the Olympic Games are over. But they seem to have left an impression on me. No, not the games but the athletes. I would love to look like those USA beach volleyball women. Wowza! Talk about being in shape.  

It seems that on the radio and TV that when interviewing the athletes there was always some snarky comment about them not being able to have dessert or other junk food. Because they have to stay in optimal shape.

Last Night

          The fitting room of a sports store stood I and my poor husband whom I had been dragging around the women’s section looking for a good pair of workout crop pants. It seemed that everything I tried on was way too tight. Alas I went up to the next size. While my husband swore a pair of pants in my lower “regular” size looked fine I disagreed. Sausage legs wasn’t the look I was going for. With the bigger size in hand I sulk to the counter and pay out. But that isn’t all, friends. On the car ride home my husband says “I wonder how much lipo would cost. Probably not that much but they would have to go all the way around both legs.”ß A completely unsolicited comment. Had we been discussing liposuction I would understand but that wasn’t the case.

Before We Reached Our Driveway

          I had a series of thoughts, ideas, and feelings. They all merged together.

Either I could sit here and whine about being a fatty while comforting myself with a bag of chips OR I could make a lifestyle change.

The Change

          Before any food enters my mouth I must ask these two questions 1) Is this clean  2) Can I live with the consequences – Those two questions must be asked in order for food to pass through my lips.

It will be hard, no doubt. And it will really take me practicing mindfulness. But the truth is, really, any lifestyle change is going to be hard. You have to give up what you know and relearn new habits and thought processes.

But I have changed before and I know it can be done.


          I don’t expect to be perfect. Perfect isn’t real. My aim is to improve.

And with this I must allow myself to slip up.

At the same time I must understand or at least recognize the “why” behind the slip up. Because there is always a “why”.

So here I go.

          Cheers to a lifestyle change.

 (May the force be with me ;p)

                       ... sorry I couldn’t resist

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Book on Tape


I bought The Prague Cemetery on my kindle a while back. I got about 1/3 of the way in and then lost interest. I was getting mixed up because the main character switches back and forth between personalities and while normally that would manageable Eco, the author, tends to write in such a way that made it more confusing for me.
Skip to yesterday. I was asking a co-worker about book recommendations and at that moment he was at a loss for suggestions, well that I hadn’t already read.
One of his favorite books is The Name of the Rose by Eco, he is a huge Eco fan, and I myself really enjoyed that book. So while sitting at my desk, pondering about what to read, I decided heck why not and made the decision to give The Prague Cemetery another try.
Literally about 2 minutes later that same co-worker came to me with his audio book copy! I thought it was pretty funny.
I accepted even though I already own the book on my kindle mainly because I was curious about the audio book. I have never listened to a "book on tape" and was never sure why they were so popular.
So at lunch I popped it into my car cd player. Ehh... I didn’t like it. I was too busy focusing on driving and traffic that I couldn’t pay attention to the story.
What I did like was the narration. To me the narrator was giving the characters life by using different tones.
So I decided to listen to the book (not while driving) and read along with it on my kindle. I love it! It's a whole new experience!!

I did a short 100i machine workout last night then I did 1 hour of combat and then took Oscar on a walk. I burned a whopping 1011 calories!! Go me ;p
Precor AMT100i Experience Series Adaptive Motion Trainer (Sports)  B0029KL2MO<-- Precor 100i
Well I needed to anyway because I let my appetite get the best of me at work.
I need a good sure fire way to avoid office goodies.
Anyone have any ideas???
I have to go into the break room to fill up my water bottle and it never fails there is, at least once a week, some type of yummy. But the yummies are turning me into a fatty!
The holiday season is the worst!! I'm dreading that battle.

Well that’s all for now folks!
Tomorrow is Friday! Can we start the happy dance yet?

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Burn So Good

My workout tonight kicked my a$$!!! Hills were more of a challenge than I thought. But so worth the 730 cal burn.
It made dinner taste ten times better.

Salad mix with carrots, green bell, carrot, cucumber, and avocado
With a Morning Star Riblet


Baby Got Back

Due to my bum leg I haven't been able to get my groove back. My treadmill groove. To groove that lets me run as fast as I want. But I am able to do some light jogging so I figured I could and should get some hillwork in. Plus it shapes the booty ;p And when you have a booty as out of control as mine you have to work extra hard to control it. If not, the booty takes charge as if it has a mind of its own... and that’s just dangerous.

The Plan:

How to Run
Warm up
Slowly jog for 5 minutes.
Hill Interval
2 minutes steady pace at 4% incline
Rest Interval
Recover (easy pace) for 2 minutes.
Hill Interval
2 minutes steady pace at 5% incline
Rest Interval
Recover (easy pace) for 2 minutes.
Hill Interval
2 minutes steady pace at 6% incline
Rest Interval
Recover (easy pace) for 2 minutes.
Hill Interval
2 minutes steady pace at 7% incline
Rest Interval
Recover (easy pace) for 2 minutes.
Hill Interval
2 minutes steady pace at 6% incline
Rest Interval
Recover (easy pace) for 2 minutes.
Hill Interval
2 minutes steady pace at 5% incline
Rest Interval
Recover (easy pace) for 2 minutes.
Hill Interval
2 minutes steady pace at 4% incline
Rest Interval
Recover (easy pace) for 2 minutes.
Cool down
Slowly jog for 5 minutes.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Weekend through a lens

<-- Smelly Cat checking on the turtle

<-- Me trying to figure out what to wear to my friend's bridal shower. The dog trying to lick my feet. (not sure why he does that)

<-- Oscar playing with J Dub's dog (we almost had granddogs. yikes!!)

<-- My friend's super cute bridal shower cake!! Congrats <3 Such a beautiful couple.

<-- Finally. My Smelly Cat. Before we went to sleep last night.

The weekend went by in a flash. I hate that. I'm left feeling unrested. Perhaps next weekend will be a bit slower. :)

Happy monday! (i suppose) 

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Wednesday, August 8, 2012


One of the things I mentioned that I need to work on is STRUCTURE!
During the weekdays I am pretty well structured and do fine.
The weekends are what get me.
So last weekend was supposed to a good one. I had a mental plan.
POOF! Mental plan went easily out the window.
So I decided to write one down.
On paper.
Maybe it will make it more... real?... solid?.... serious?

Some changes that I am implementing into my life:
*To move more.
     Whether it be taking the dog to the park or painting my nails... I just need to move
*Solid gym routine.
      I need to create and stick to a solid gym schedule. I used to not let anything get in my way.
*Scheduling aka Structure
      Plan out days that I know will run the risk of boredom eating. (like the weekends)

discipline <-- And I need more of that too

Cheers to hump day! 

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Soul Cookies

I am the cookie monster. My dad has called me this since I was little and now my husband has caught on. I don't mind the nickname. It's true.
I L. O. V. E - love cookies!

I especially love "healthy" cookies.
Guilt free. ;p

Luckily my friend J Dub snagged a healthy cookie recipe from her mom.

Soul Cookies
mix the following and let sit for 10 minutes
3/4 C oats
3/4 C brown rice flour
1/4 t unrefined salt
1/4 t allspice
1/4 t ginger
1/2 t cinnamon
1/4 C grapeseed oil
1/3 C maple syrup
1/2 C raisins (or dates, chopped nuts, dried berries...)
*I also added 2T of crunchy peanut butter

mix the following and set for 5 minutes
3T ground flaxseed
3T applesauce 

1. Add ground flaxseed mixture to the oat/flour mixture. Mix well.
2. Roll into balls to form cookie shape and place on greased cookie sheet.
3. Bake at 350 for 20-23 minutes. Let cool.

<-- Wash down cookies with this ;p

Their passion tea is so super duper refreshing!!